my one year anniversary is approaching. may 24(legally the anniversary, and the day of the hindu wedding) and may 25 (the day of the american wedding).
we went to bed last night fighting. i can't get him to talk to me sometimes, to sit down and just talk, chatter, communicate,etc., he loves hugging, and cuddling and other ways of showing affection, but he does not like to take the time to talk. last night,as always, he spent time playing on the x-box. i was hoping that when he got done, towards bedtime, i would be able to spend some time with him, talking, and laughing,etc., nope. i started saying something, i was passionate about what i was saying (it was about the situation of our condo not selling)...when all of a sudden he walks away. i was in mid sentence, i asked why he was leaving, and will he come back, he said yes, and then 15 minutes later, after turning off all the lights in the place, and seeing if the computer was doing what he wanted it to do...he came back. would that make you mad? i was in mid sentence.
the worst part is that no matter how angry i get, no matter what method i use to tell him it bothers me...he doesn't get it. he doesn't want to hear that i am bothered about something. a nice trait usually, the trait of wanting to avoid conflict. but with marriages, sh*t happens, conflict happens. deal with it!!!!!!!!!
anyway, i wanted to look up the secrets of good marriages, to see if i am doing something wrong, and this is what i found:
"through the vision and virtues of friendship". (i don't feel much like a 'friend' when i am not being listened to)
a good marriage must be created"
(i understand this, and i think that working to make the two personalities click is the key...but i can't do it alone!)
don't sleep in a room painted white. (i like this link. a feng shui look of what your bedroom should look like if you are trying to promote a good marriage. all of what they said about what not to do, is what we are doing.)
tell your partner what you want. don't rely on intuition. listen to your partner. (HELLO!)
the guys at work say to make an "appointment" to talk and that right b4 going to bed is not the time to talk about deep things. they also say to take the xbox power cord away from him and to sit him down to talk, and to not give the cord back until we have our talk.
there is one good thing though, and that is that, according to this list of 10 items, we are really not doing that badly. i don't know...if i could get him to communicate more, and to allow him to allow me to communicate...then we would be great!!!
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we went to bed last night fighting. i can't get him to talk to me sometimes, to sit down and just talk, chatter, communicate,etc., he loves hugging, and cuddling and other ways of showing affection, but he does not like to take the time to talk. last night,as always, he spent time playing on the x-box. i was hoping that when he got done, towards bedtime, i would be able to spend some time with him, talking, and laughing,etc., nope. i started saying something, i was passionate about what i was saying (it was about the situation of our condo not selling)...when all of a sudden he walks away. i was in mid sentence, i asked why he was leaving, and will he come back, he said yes, and then 15 minutes later, after turning off all the lights in the place, and seeing if the computer was doing what he wanted it to do...he came back. would that make you mad? i was in mid sentence.
the worst part is that no matter how angry i get, no matter what method i use to tell him it bothers me...he doesn't get it. he doesn't want to hear that i am bothered about something. a nice trait usually, the trait of wanting to avoid conflict. but with marriages, sh*t happens, conflict happens. deal with it!!!!!!!!!
anyway, i wanted to look up the secrets of good marriages, to see if i am doing something wrong, and this is what i found:
"through the vision and virtues of friendship". (i don't feel much like a 'friend' when i am not being listened to)
a good marriage must be created"
(i understand this, and i think that working to make the two personalities click is the key...but i can't do it alone!)
don't sleep in a room painted white. (i like this link. a feng shui look of what your bedroom should look like if you are trying to promote a good marriage. all of what they said about what not to do, is what we are doing.)
tell your partner what you want. don't rely on intuition. listen to your partner. (HELLO!)
the guys at work say to make an "appointment" to talk and that right b4 going to bed is not the time to talk about deep things. they also say to take the xbox power cord away from him and to sit him down to talk, and to not give the cord back until we have our talk.
there is one good thing though, and that is that, according to this list of 10 items, we are really not doing that badly. i don't know...if i could get him to communicate more, and to allow him to allow me to communicate...then we would be great!!!
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