the fact that the past year has yielded six marriages is something i have spoken of already. but did i mention that 5 of them involved women over the age of 27 (the other sixth was 24 or 25). the lateness of the age of women getting married must be a phenomenon, i don't think that this has happened in any other generation. but according to this UK article, this is the norm. (via:human-nature.com)
some interesting statements:
"for the first time more people are living alone or in one-parent households than in a traditional family unit" and "The growth in single-person households is mainly a result of an increasing number of 25- to 45-year-olds opting to live alone."
hmm...with both of my brothers, and quite a few friends, seeming extremely content at the idea of being by themselves, vs. being with the wrong person, or the right person at the wrong time in their lives.
of course it also says, "A survey commissioned by Match.com in 2001 claimed that more than 50 percent of singletons surveyed were openly or secretly looking for a partner while pretending to be content with solitude."
this makes sense b/c i do think that humans want to be with someone, have a soulmate of sorts, a best friend, but, today, 2002, this generation...i think that we're extremely choosy of who that person is. and this results in looking but not with a full heart. we will try harder to find the best pair of pants or the best career, than to find the person that we will share our lives with. as preetham, my brother, jokingly says, "the bhagwan (god), will find someone" for him. so leave it fate? so that one doesn't have to ask people out, get rejected, ask someone else out, date, find out that it's the wrong person, break up, ask someone else out, and so on, and so on. it would be easier, i guess, to leave it to fate.
also, "Individuals might be too focused on demanding and exciting careers, too absorbed by life, to have much time to devote to another person. There are times when the aspiration for freedom dictates the course of individual experimentation - and sometimes we don't want to compromise, regarding living with others as a trap."
a trap. yes, i also thought that commitment was a trap. with men, i felt that committment would take away my individuality, me, and who i was. that i would be forced to become him. where in the world did i get this idea?
okay, there is a truth in it, in the sense that, now that i am married, i am less of an extrovert, being that if i had my way, i would be out and about all the time, going to museums, plays, coffee shops, libraries, concerts, parks, shopping, clubs, at other's houses, etc., and if robin, didn't want to go to these places, then i would be doing it alone...which would mean an end to our relationship of course, being that we would spend more time apart than together. so now, now, i make an effort to spend time with him, and with friends having their own lives anyway, this is easy to do. which results in me being inside the house most of the time. so, yes, yes, i have changed. hmm...but trapped, are you trapped if you made the choice to be someone different, behave differently?
anyway, relationships, they are constantly changing, as your needs do as well. when you need to be with someone, then you'll probably try to find them. course they say that when you're not looking is when you do find someone. maybe it will work for preetham, and for all those other singletons out there, who are looking, with the corner of their eyes, from a far distance.
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went to neza and demetrio's house to see marisol, their new baby, for the first time. i held the sweet little girl. so soft and so warm and so cute. she slept in my arms, what a feeling that is, to have a tiny, adorable, being of perfection, trust you completely to hold them and keep them safe and warm. neza, you look lovely in your mother's glow, and demie, you've taken on the father role very well. i am happy for the both of you.
some interesting statements:
"for the first time more people are living alone or in one-parent households than in a traditional family unit" and "The growth in single-person households is mainly a result of an increasing number of 25- to 45-year-olds opting to live alone."
hmm...with both of my brothers, and quite a few friends, seeming extremely content at the idea of being by themselves, vs. being with the wrong person, or the right person at the wrong time in their lives.
of course it also says, "A survey commissioned by Match.com in 2001 claimed that more than 50 percent of singletons surveyed were openly or secretly looking for a partner while pretending to be content with solitude."
this makes sense b/c i do think that humans want to be with someone, have a soulmate of sorts, a best friend, but, today, 2002, this generation...i think that we're extremely choosy of who that person is. and this results in looking but not with a full heart. we will try harder to find the best pair of pants or the best career, than to find the person that we will share our lives with. as preetham, my brother, jokingly says, "the bhagwan (god), will find someone" for him. so leave it fate? so that one doesn't have to ask people out, get rejected, ask someone else out, date, find out that it's the wrong person, break up, ask someone else out, and so on, and so on. it would be easier, i guess, to leave it to fate.
also, "Individuals might be too focused on demanding and exciting careers, too absorbed by life, to have much time to devote to another person. There are times when the aspiration for freedom dictates the course of individual experimentation - and sometimes we don't want to compromise, regarding living with others as a trap."
a trap. yes, i also thought that commitment was a trap. with men, i felt that committment would take away my individuality, me, and who i was. that i would be forced to become him. where in the world did i get this idea?
okay, there is a truth in it, in the sense that, now that i am married, i am less of an extrovert, being that if i had my way, i would be out and about all the time, going to museums, plays, coffee shops, libraries, concerts, parks, shopping, clubs, at other's houses, etc., and if robin, didn't want to go to these places, then i would be doing it alone...which would mean an end to our relationship of course, being that we would spend more time apart than together. so now, now, i make an effort to spend time with him, and with friends having their own lives anyway, this is easy to do. which results in me being inside the house most of the time. so, yes, yes, i have changed. hmm...but trapped, are you trapped if you made the choice to be someone different, behave differently?
anyway, relationships, they are constantly changing, as your needs do as well. when you need to be with someone, then you'll probably try to find them. course they say that when you're not looking is when you do find someone. maybe it will work for preetham, and for all those other singletons out there, who are looking, with the corner of their eyes, from a far distance.
-----------
went to neza and demetrio's house to see marisol, their new baby, for the first time. i held the sweet little girl. so soft and so warm and so cute. she slept in my arms, what a feeling that is, to have a tiny, adorable, being of perfection, trust you completely to hold them and keep them safe and warm. neza, you look lovely in your mother's glow, and demie, you've taken on the father role very well. i am happy for the both of you.
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