thankful

So I was reviewing my Facebook friends list and noticed the number of ex-boyfriends I have on there. I am actually happy to know that these men think that I am interesting enough to stay friends with. I wasn't always nice to them unfortunately. Boy did it take me a long time to mature...thank goodness for motherhood.

I love seeing the new lives of these men though. They are so freaking happy, with their gorgeous wives and their beautiful children; they have new interests, great jobs, and they are loved.  I love that. love. I also love that I can have this type of  relationship, albeit a Facebook relationship, with them. They each were really interesting on their own right; i made some great choices.

Seeing them now as great dads, great husbands, i am thinking that yes I missed out on a  great relationship with them myself. But i wasn't ready for good men, kind men, men who wanted to commit. nope. after being so protected by my father and mother, not allowed to talk to boys, not allowed to go anywhere without them except for school, not allowed to think and be different from them. i needed freedom. I needed adventure, to meet all kinds of people, to learn who i was, and what i wanted to be.

I could apologize to these boys, men, for being such a bad girlfriend, but in reality they are with exactly who they should be with. And I am very thankful that they wanted to ensure that I was happy and they value me enough to keep in their lives in this minute way.

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3 things that i am grateful for:

That I have a father who helped me get my car when I needed help to get a car 4 years ago. 

That I have a forgiving heart.

That I am able to acknowledge that i cant sing but succumb my children (and Wes) to it anyway. And they dont stop me, usually.