i am not feeling very good today, sorta blah and blue actually.

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i am mad at robin for playing his computer games...he thinks that me doing this blog is just as much a waste of time...but to me, i am learning coding a little bit, while he...he just plays computer games...i am developing my knowledge for a potential career someday, after some classes, while he...he plays computer games. i am scared b/c...he has so many bills and yet is not ambitious to get a different job, one with more money, (or with more skills).i want to push him, but i know that he will get mad at me...i want to be pushed actually, to do better than i am doing, but being that he is not ambitious himself, he won't push me...i don't know maybe it's age, i guess that when i was his age, i was not very ambitious, as i am now...

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there is not much i can do. is there? except develop myself and have the need to do it, and not rely on him...and if he wants to play computer games, rather than develop himself, then let him. if we grow apart, then let it happen? i want to volunteer, i want to take classes, i want to learn, i want to go out and see, but i am afraid to leave him behind...but i can't be static either. don't other couples go through this???

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aaaaaaaaarrrgggghh!