i am extremely angry with my diabetes doctor. ever since i met him, he has taught me alot, and helped me greatly with the diabetes, but at the end of each appointment, he would always mention any new products that are in the scene. one specifically he's talked to me about greatly is the insulin pump. the idea is very cool, you leave it on twentyfour-seven...and the other idea was a pen. now the pen works if you are not pregnant. they know that i want to try again sometime, so why do they ask me to use it every time. i don't want my doctor to be a freakin' salesman. what the hell.

well, i finally gave in last month (the one to use if you are not pregnant). since then i have had at least 15 times of having over 200, when the normal is 120. 15 times. i had tried 4 times to get off of this medication, but they kept saying 'we'll just increase your dosage' or 'it's due to stress' or 'it's due to the time of the month'...and each time i went into the conversation strongly saying i want to switch back to the old medicine, and instead this is that they say, thus encouraging me to think that i am an idiot, getting out of control.

i am finally (yesterday) back on my regular medicine, but how much damage have i done already but letting them experiment with me with this new drug. it is not really an experiment for it's a valid drug, but i was doing just fine with the old medicine, and they wanted to see one how this would affect me.

how much damage have i done already? damn't. why did they not listen to me and why did they try to sway me from going back to my old medicine.

(i found out that the pump he talked to me about after each appointment is 6000 dollars, i wonder what kind of cut-back he gets for each purchase made by his customer. i hate that i am thinking that...but how can i not)