nobody tells you that you and your husband are going to go through a lot of stress the first couple years of having children. it is true though. you have expectations of how you want to be, how you want the partner to be...you expect alot of mind reading actually because all of your efforts are put into the kid or kids in my case.

i spend so much time trying to be a good mom, that i forget that hubs and i have not been together for dozens of years and we do not know all that we need to know to be a good couple. our communication methods sometimes stinks. we don't say those three words as much as we did before the kids were born- although we feel it and we know that the other does as well...you have to love each other to put up with the things that we do.

my family is not one that had good communication to start with, so i don't know exactly how to get better at it. how to not let things build up. how to state what i need without saying hurtful things, using 'you' vs. 'i'. how to decide on the battles to be fought, and when to resign myself to the idea that 'things will get better' or 'there is nothing you can do about it'.

anyway. please, if you are reading this, know that once you have children, you and your partner, no matter how much you love each other, are going to be tested. big time.